tw-rl

A good friend once told me: “life changes at 40: before 40 life is about making decisions, after 40 is about living with the decisions you made.” I am turning 40 today, so I wanted to share 8 “nuggets of wisdom” I learned during my 30s. (Thread!)

1. The only goal that makes sense is learning. When you are younger, you want to grow up to be rich, beautiful, popular, or in love. But achievable goals make no sense. It is all about the lessons you get while trying to reach goals. Soon u realize that learning is THE only goal.

2. Leadership is not about telling people what to do, but about understanding what people are trying to achieve and helping coordinate different interests towards a common goal. If you transition to a leading role, make your first conversation about those you lead, not you.

Once you understand what people want, solve the puzzle. You can’t force people into roles for too long. Solve forward from the people you lead, and not backwards from an intended blueprint or plan. Adapt the plan to the people, not the people to the plan.

3. Those working on related things are not competitors. Many good efforts are destroyed because of people being too greedy with credit, or wanting to be “the” one. Share, promote & encourage people working on similar things to you. Support your peers!

4. If you get screwed, or betrayed, learn to forgive. I was betrayed by a senior colleague & suffered anger & lack of sleep for years. I had to learn to forgive (although I never interacted with that person again) to regain my peace. You forgive for you, not others.

5. There is nothing that gets me more tired than emotional conflicts. People run on some “emotional energy” that is drained by disagreement, pessimism, egos, etc. Don’t pick every fight. Let go quickly. Double down on emotionally supportive friends if u find them.

6. The easiest way to gain support in a political situation is to criticize the person or situation that everyone already hates. Do that from Monday to Friday, and you’ll loose your independent thinking by Sunday.

7. What babies need more than anything is attention. Being a parent is the best, but the hunger for information that a child has is voracious. Kids get bored in seconds and grow on parental attention more than on porridge and milk. Parenting requires constant entertaining.

8. Don’t take yourself or others too seriously. Allow yourself the chance to explore, make mistakes, and have a good laugh. How YOU see life is the only thing you truly control.